If you haven't heard of girl code and happen to be a girl, you probably still know what it means, you just might not have had a name for it, or simply recognized it as your personal moral compass. Which generally speaking, it is. However, girl code specifically relates to your (and every other girls) morals in terms of our sisterhood as females, and how our actions could affect the rest of us.
I don't know if men have a similar code of conduct, I'm sure everyone regardless of gender has some sort of moral compass, but I have no idea if men have any kind of collective brotherhood rules which prevent them from acting in a certain way, in certain situations. Mostly because, well..... I'm not a man. I was in a long term relationship with one once, and asked him if there was such thing as a boy code, like we have girl code. His only idea of a code seemed to relate to rivalry, in that you'd always be ready to take a punch in a fight if it meant sticking up for your friends. We've all heard the term "bros before hoes".Girl code is important, girl code is everything that brings women together, girl code is girl power, it's feminism, it's best friendship, it's women's rights. Girl code is the collective love a woman has for every other woman on the planet purely on the basis that we share something very important. No, not a vag and titties, what we share is a biology that allows us to carry life and eons of history oppressed by the male of our own species.
So here are the rules, some of them, you may disagree with but here are what the rules are in my experience:
Your friends, always come before your relationships. It's our bros before hoes. Your girl friends were there before your boyfriend, and will be there, long after you break up. A decent man will accept your friends and never come between you. You may not cancel plans with your girls to hang out with your boyfriend.
You may not speak ill of a friends boyfriend. Yes, we all know he's a total cockend, and that she could have anyone she wanted if she only knew how pretty she was and got some confidence. He's so rude, and he's not even that good looking, he is a total pig. But you can't say that, that's her man, and she has made a decision to be with him. All you are permitted to do is agree when she eventually realizes this herself. Then you may jump on the wagon and start planning nights out for when she's a single chicken again!
Exes are off limits. Apart from extreme/rare circumstances, ex boyfriends of your friends are completely off limits. Why would you want to date them anyway? He was monumental fuckwad while he was with your friend, what makes you think he'd be any different with you? Dating your friends ex (or your sisters ex.... or moms ex?) creates a sense of uncertainty and distrust between you. Did you always fancy him? How can you see past what he did to her? What if she still has feeling for him? What if he's only with you to get back at her? It's a whole entire can of worms you don't want to open. To avoid becoming eskimo sisters with your gal pals it best to think of the men in their lives as girls. i.e. non sexual beings as far as you are concerned. Anyway, it's not like there in't plenty of fella's to go around. Broaden your horizons. Like Rihanna says "always rainin' men grrl whatcha worry 'bout?"
Homewrecking! So I guess part of girl code would be that you don't go after guys who are in relationships. If you meet a guy you like and find out he has a girlfriend/spouse, you do not pursue him. All very simple. But we all know that this can be a lot easier said than done. After all, if someone is acting single, they must be right? If they're willing to cheat on their partners with you, the relationship is as good as over, it's their problem, not yours. It's not your job to save their relationship right? The truth is.... You don't owe anything to anyone, no one else happiness is your responsibility. But think about it, can you live with yourself? Do you really want to be a side dish? Why don't you just change your name to garlic bread while you're at it? My advice? You deserve better. You deserve to mean everything to someone, to be their one and only, to have their undivided attention. Being someone's affair, really isn't flattering.
In terms if girl code, I wish I could say my record is clean, but unfortunately it isn't. I like everyone else have been young and stupid, and then there were other times where I was just plain selfish. Despite the fact that other girls have pulled some real shitty moves on me in the past, and knew how it felt to be betrayed like that, it still didn't stop me doing the same. I justified it, by any means. I was having a horrible time of it, and I needed some attention, and that was my excuse. I thought, "well, it's not like I'm doing any damage" "I don't owe anyone anything", and I was angry at everything at the time. But that would never give me any right to do what I was doing. Not knowing how it felt to have someone do it to me. In fairness, the men were the true ones at fault in both cases, but I feel it's important we take our side of the blame too. After all, it takes two to tango.
I think in the end, all Girl code really is, is how you would feel if what you are doing, was happening to you? I know this is a generalisation, we all know to treat people how we want to be treated. It's just all the more important for women and girls, because for crying out loud, we have GOT to have each others backs in a mans world, still so rife with hatred and violence. I'm not asking you to stand in front of a mirror with your hand on your vagina and shout " I AM A FEMINIST" (by all means do that I positively encourage it) but for the love of all things pink just be nice to each other.
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